Getting Down to Business
by Red Witch
Summary: Just another average night of humor with a dab of angst at the Baxter Building as the Fantastic Four try to figure out what to have for dinner.


**Reed Richards misplaced the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Fantastic Four characters. Here's an odd little one shot that ran through my head. Like there are any other kind. **

**Getting Down to Business**

It had been two weeks since the climatic battle with Dr. Doom, and still things were hectic in the Baxter Building. Mostly because it's inhabitants were busy fighting each other. And now they were engaged in a very climatic and importantbattle that would change their fate. At least for that evening.

"Chinese!" Johnny snapped.

"Italian!" Ben roared back. "We had Chinese already this week!"

"That was Thai you Rockhead!" Johnny snapped.

"Same difference!" Ben retorted.

"It is not you moron!" Johnny snapped. "Any other rock would know that!"

"You want this couch stuffed down your throat?" Ben picked it up and lifted it over his head.

"Try it and you'll have heartburn like you wouldn't believe!" Johnny created a huge fireball in his hand.

"Will you two knock it off!" Sue snapped. "Ben put the couch down! Johnny! Flame out! Now!"

"Fine…" Johnny grumbled.

"I was just making a point," Ben gingerly put down the furniture and sat on it.

"Do you have to do it with our sofa?" Reed looked up from a chair. "Honestly do we have to have this argument **every single night? **Why do we have to get takeout anyway?"

"Well **I'm** not going to be stuck doing all the cooking," Sue told them.

"Hey, I'd do it but uh…" Ben wiggled his fingers. "Kinda still working on my touch here. And we know the Matchstick burns everything."

"One time! One time!" Johnny snapped. "So I set a grilled cheese sandwich on fire and burned a counter!"

"Yeah and that was a year ago **before** you got your powers," Ben pointed out. "And you haven't exactly improved since then!"

"Yeah well I'm better than Captain Stretcho," Johnny told him.

"Nearly anyone is better than Reed," Ben agreed.

"What do you mean?" Reed was puzzled.

"Reed I love you, and you're a wonderful scientist but…" Sue sighed.

"I can cook," Reed frowned. "Cooking is nothing more than simple chemistry."

"Reed, in cooking you're not supposed to melt the plates," Sue explained patiently.

"Is that what that smell in the cupboards is?" Alicia Masters wrinkled her nose. Alicia had become a fast friend to Sue in the few weeks and had become the unofficial fifth member of the Fantastic Four. She often visited the Baxter Building and the Fantastic Four welcomed her company. Usually because she was the closest thing to a sane person they could find.

"Come on Sis," Johnny sat down. "Takeout isn't that bad. I mean we can afford it now with all the money pouring in from our government sponsors and a few things Reed's patented. Why not take advantage of it?"

"I think it's important that we start putting that money to good use," Sue said. "Not just paying the bills and getting takeout."

"What do you mean?" Reed asked.

"Look Stretch, what Susie is trying to say here is that we need to fix up the place," Ben interrupted. "I mean take my bathroom for instance."

"Please take it," Johnny waved his hand in front of his nose. "I've smelled gym socks that weren't as deadly. Whoo!"

"At least it doesn't smell like smoke," Ben glared at him. "You outta hang out in his bedroom sometimes. It smells like a Cheech and Chong movie was filmed in there."

"So I had a few accidents," Johnny glared at him. "So I set my bedsheets on fire once or twice. It's not like I was so heavy I cracked a toilet… like someone I know! Now that was a smell that would make your toes curl!"

"Don't remind me," Reed groaned. "I still haven't been able to fully pay the plumber. Not to mention I haven't been able to **get **a plumber back here since then."

"Can I help it if the damn thing wasn't built right?" Ben snapped.

"Yeah who would have guessed that something made of **porcelain** would crack and break under a two ton weight?" Johnny snickered. "I'm amazed it actually fit your big butt! Oh wait it stuck right to…"

"NOT ONE MORE WORD MATCHSTICK!" Ben hollered.

"Boys!" Sue snapped. "Knock it off! Can't you two behave yourselves for one night?"

"Sue's right," Alicia put her arm on Ben's arm. "This bickering doesn't solve anything. Both of you are having difficulties with your powers. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"**I'm** not having trouble with my powers," Johnny sulked, folding his arms.

"So you ignited your bed on **purpose** the other night?" Reed looked at him.

"Sounds like junior was having a hot dream," Ben snickered.

"Looks like somebody should be taking some more cold showers," Johnny glared at Ben.

"That's another thing," Ben said. "I can't keep schlepping down to Alicia's every time I need to wash up. That shower I have don't exactly give me elbow room."

"**I'm **not complaining," Alicia gave him a wry smile. "I kind of enjoy it."

"Well…" Ben became flustered. "Uh…"

"Why do you need to go to **her **place?" Johnny asked.

"None of your business," Ben grunted.

"I have a pressure jet," Alicia explained. "I usually use it to clean my sculptures."

"Really?" Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Well, well, well…"

"Get your mind outta the gutter ya little…" Ben growled.

"No, no wait this is interesting," Johnny held up his hands. "So a couple times a week Ben goes downtown, gets naked and Alicia hoses him off? Man that sounds like a hot porno."

"I wear my shorts you…" Ben clenched his fists.

"What difference does that make? It's not like she can see you if you were!" Johnny said. "And still you're getting a lot of action and…"

"YOU WANT **ACTION?"** Ben shot up. "I'LL SHOW **YOU **ACTION RIGHT NOW!"

"Ben **sit down!"** Sue ordered. "Johnny **shut up!" **

"It's not my fault the guy can't take a complement!" Johnny shouted back.

"Will the two of you **behave **yourselves?" Reed shouted.

"It's his own fault!" Ben shouted. "He's making it sound dirty when it's not! Alicia…Alicia's a lady! I wouldn't…."

"Wouldn't or **can't?"** Johnny taunted.

"Johnny!" Sue snapped.

"Keep it up flyboy," Ben growled. "And you'll be on the 'disabled' list permanently!"

"Ben! Johnny! Not again!" Reed groaned. "We've barely started to make repairs the **last** time you two got into a fight! Which was this morning!"

"Ben please," Alicia begged. "Don't listen to him. I don't care what other people think about us!"

"I care! They can say what they like about **me,** but **you're **another story," Ben grunted.

"I'm sure Johnny didn't mean it like **that,"** Reed said.

"Yes I did," Johnny replied. "Come on! She's hot! I'd get it on with her."

"Okay, you're dead!" Ben shot up and grabbed the couch. "YOU'RE **DEAD!"**

"BEN PUT THE COUCH DOWN AGAIN!" Sue shot up. "JOHNNY PUT YOUR FLAME OUT! AGAIN!"

Both did as they were told. "He started it," Ben whined like a nine year old.

"Did not!" Johnny snapped.

"I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT BUT I WILL FINISH IT IF YOU TWO DON'T GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!" Sue shouted. She started to vanish. "Oh great! Look at what you two made me do!"

"Well excuse me," Ben got up and stormed out of the room in a huff.

"Ben! Wait! I'll talk to him!" Alicia sighed and got up. She grabbed her cane. "Which direction did he go?"

"The balcony on the left," Sue told her. "Need help?"

"Nope, I remember from last time," Alicia said as she maneuvered her way to where Ben would be moping.

Sue glared at her brother. "What?" Johnny really didn't know what he had done. "I was paying the guy a compliment!"

"Pay him any more compliments like that and we're going to need another living room set," Sue told him. "Which we probably can barely afford!"

"Look it's obvious we need to have some kind of budget," Reed conceded. "We should look at the books or something. Do we have books?"

"Oh Reed," Sue shook her head. "Do you have any concept of money at all and how it should be managed?"

"This is the guy who's been bankrupt for how many years?" Johnny remarked. "Sis, Reed may understand how every atom in the universe works but when it comes to balancing a checkbook a three year old could do it better. Hell, even Ben could do it better!"

"I hate to say it but he does have a point," Reed admitted.

"Fine," Sue sighed. "First thing in the morning I am going to call an accountant and schedule a financial meeting. Obviously I am the only one here who can handle things!" She stormed out into another room.

Reed looked at Johnny. "I'd better talk to her, shouldn't I?"

"I ain't going in there," Johnny held up his hands.

Meanwhile on the balcony Ben was staring at the city like a huge gargoyle. The irony had occurred to him on more than one occasion. It was one of the few places he felt somewhat at peace, being able to overlook the city he loved but could no longer be fully part of.

"Is it a nice view?" Alicia asked as she sided up to him.

"It's not bad," Ben shrugged. "I'm sorry I lost my temper. But I just couldn't…"

"Ben when are you going to learn not to listen to Johnny?" Alicia told him. "You know he only says things to goad you because he can't think of anything else to say."

"I know, but…" Ben stopped. "It's just…When he was talking trash about you."

"Benny believe me, that was **nothing** compared to what I've heard before," Alicia told him. "If it will make you feel better I'll whack him with my cane. That usually shuts him up."

"It's not just that. Don't get me wrong, I like it when you…Well…" Ben was a bit embarrassed. "Clean me up. It's just a little embarrassing that Hothead knows. I mean what we do isn't anybody's business is it?"

"I like taking care of you Ben," Alicia touched his face. "It makes me feel…Well important to you."

"It does?" Ben blinked. "But Alicia…You **are** important to me. I mean, you don't treat me like a…You treat me like a person."

"And so do you Bennie," Alicia gently kissed him on the cheek. "You know…Johnny did have a point. Maybe you should let me wash you in the nude?"

Ben made a loud gulp. "Whaaaa…?"

"Just kidding," Alicia smiled mischievously. "Well maybe not completely."

"You're killing me Alicia," Ben hung down his head. "You're killing me."

Meanwhile Reed had caught up with Sue. "Sue I'm sorry for what I said…" Reed apologized.

"It's not what you said Reed that's got me upset," Sue told him. "Because I know it's the truth. It's the fact that I feel like I've got one more thing to worry about."

"One more thing? What do you mean?" Reed asked.

"Reed I know you can be clueless sometimes but honestly…" Sue rolled her eyes.

"This isn't just about Johnny and Ben's little spats is it?" Reed asked.

"No, it's about the damage they make when they do have their spats and how much we have to pay to fix the place afterwards!" Sue told him venomously. "It's about I'm always the one who has to stop the two of them from fighting and making our repair bills higher! It's about how I am the only one with enough sense to see how badly we are off financially and how things could get worse if we don't do something! It's about I am struggling so hard to keep this team together and yet no one else makes any effort to support me! Oh and let's not forget the minor detail that one day I may lose complete control of my powers and be stuck permanently invisible! Which come to think of it, is not that much further than how I'm treated **now!" **

In a fit of rage Sue sent out a huge force field that sent several pieces of furniture flying. One chair broke through a window. "Damnit!" Sue swore. "Great! Just great! There's **another** thing I have to worry about replacing!"

"Well I think you're allowed at least one window considering Johnny and Ben broke half the rooms in the building," Reed told her. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders.

Sue turned around and embraced Reed. "Why does it still feel like our lives are completely out of control?" She sighed.

"Some scientists say that nothing is ever under control," Reed consoled her. "I've been a lousy leader haven't I?"

"No, you're just…" Sue sighed. "Absent minded."

"Absent minded? Sue forgetting the mortgage payment or misplacing some keys is absent minded," Reed told her. "I irradiated and mutated my friends, turned Victor Von Doom into a monster and our mortal enemy, The Baxter Building is still not completely in the black…I'm a disaster! I'm a walking disaster!"

"Reed," Sue sighed as Reed pushed her away.

"And the worst thing about it is that I'm making you pay for my mistakes!" Reed threw up his hands. "I'm supposed to worry about things like this! Not you! Not you."

Sue expelled some air. "Reed…Look right now things are just…We're still adjusting to all this. It's barely been three months since this whole thing began. It's natural that we're struggling and trying to find our way. But at least we're talking about it. Now all we have to do is work on it."

"You're right," Reed held her again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"I think we both needed to let off some steam," Sue sighed. "Oh is this what it's going to be like when we're married?"

"I guess so," Reed thought. "I mean, most couples have to worry about making ends meet or taking care of the family. It's basically a partnership to help each other out. Our lives really aren't that much different if you think about it."

BOOM!

CRASH!

"Italian!"

"Chinese!"

"Italian!"

"Chinese!"

"Except for the fact that our 'kids' can level entire cities," Reed winced.

"That's it," Sue sighed. "I'm calling out for pizza."


End file.
